


if we only die once

by cartoonmoomba



Series: I walked around the world until I found my gravestone [6]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: F/M, OC backstory galore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 19:57:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11111742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cartoonmoomba/pseuds/cartoonmoomba
Summary: In the wake of the Calamity: there is a ring on her finger and wedding gown in the back of her closet. Lieal does not remember why.





	if we only die once

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Final Fantasy XIV does not belong to me.

_ -i want to die with you._

Lieal is fifteen summers when the lesser moon falls over Carteneau and the Garlean threat breaks past the borders of Eorzea.

"Arbert!" She screams. In the hallways of Ul'Dah's Grand Palace she runs, dodging the panicking staff and visitors alike. Up ahead she can spot both her fiancé and one of the Sultana's guards passionately gesturing at each other - she crashes into Arbert the moment he turns at her voice, arms ready to press her close to him. She sobs into his chest (his travelling gear, _by the Twelve_ she almost cries, _he does not mean to leave?_ ) and winds her shaking hands around his back. The steel of his axe presses coldly against her fingers.

"Lea," Arbert's voice cracks over her name and she pulls back, just enough to be able to gaze up at his face.

"What's happening?" She questions, unable to keep the hysteria from her voice. "Arbert, please, do you know what this is?"

His hands press down over her hair and smooth it away, the leather of his well-worn gloves heavy against her skin. He does it again and again, nervously, his eyes moving over her face.

"Lea," he says again like a man broken. "You have to stay here in the city. Find some place safe - underground, somewhere secure--"

Out of the corner of her eye, like in a distant dream, she can see the guard bringing a hand to his ear. "Arbert," the Roegadyn says. "We must leave."

" _Leave_?" Breaks past Lieal's lips. "You surely don't mean to- please come with me, Arbert-" A sob cuts her off; the palace walls shake from some sort of impact.

Arbert's lips press against her forehead, her tear stained cheek, her lips. "Stay safe," he whispers against her mouth, kissing her once, twice, thrice, all in quick succession. "By the Twelve, please, _please..."_

From behind her she can hear more of the Sultana's guards herding people to safety and the call of her name.

"With me!" The guard - she knows him and his name and where his family lives, she does, just _not now_ \- yells and runs up to grab at her shoulder. "All of the Sultana's staff are to come with me, now!"

She tries to shake him off, still crying, reaching out for Arbert. "Go, Lieal," her fiancé implores and then the Roegadyn paladin beside him grabs his forearm, and the teleportation magic sparks to life around them and Lieal watches them disappear, Arbert's eyes wet and staring into hers--

"Now, Fhey!" Her own guard screams in her ear as the palace ceiling crumbles and she lets herself be dragged away in a stupor.

_Arbert,_ her mind cries and then, also: _if the sky is falling outside, then what of Gridania?_

_Mother?_

She's pushed into an underground chamber where the Sultana, several guards and nearly all of her handmaidens are already present. She falls to the floor before the Mistress, who gracefully nods her head (Lieal does not look up to see if the girl trembles as they do, if her face is as pale as theirs are) and dismisses her. She finds her way to a wall and collapses against it, pressing close against one of the other girls who turns to her for comfort.

The chamber is nearly silent but they can still feel the tremors. Vaguely, Lieal can hear the Sultana ask after General Rauhban and Carteneau Plains. With a sinking heart, she closes her eyes and tries hard to weep in silence.

_Arbert_ , she thinks, _why must you always go where there is such danger?_

_. _

_. _

The weeks that follow:

The world tries to rebuild as best it can. Several wings and hallways of the Palace are closed off for repairs, with entire city streets following. The populace moves about in a stupor from their front doors to boards announcing lost friends, family, _have you seen my--?_

Care for the Sultana goes on as best it can, as well. Lieal attends to her from early in the morning to early in the evening, after which another woman replaces her. General Rauhban has returned to the city safe and well, and he and the Sultana and the council are locked in meetings from nearly dawn till dusk.

In the evenings, when she is free, Lieal retreats to her personal chambers and marvels at the things she finds there. The first is a ring by her bedside, delicate and expertly crafted and a perfect fit for her left hand. The band is made of precious metal and has little to no signs of wear. The small stone set in its centre is what first had caught her attention in the morning _right after,_ glinting in the low light of her room. She had stared at it, sitting on her ring finger, half-asleep and confused.

It rests on her nightstand now, for she does not feel comfortable wearing it. She does not, also, feel comfortably going without it. Caught between the two, she feels pulled in two directions: her head ( _why would I wear such a ring when I do not know who gave it to me?)_ and her heart _(please come back safe safe safe safe--)._

But it feels somehow familiar so she lets it remain close to her while she dreams. The world needs its little comforts, in trying times like this.

_ (When she wakes she is always crying, and Lieal feels as if she has forgotten something so very important--) _

There is a city wide call ordained by the Sultana to donate any unnecessary foods and clothes items in a relief effort and so Lieal opens her closet one day and there, at the back of it, sits a wedding gown.

It is a humble one, of that there is no doubt, but woven with the same fine craftsmanship as the ring. ( _Wedding ring_ , her mind corrects her.) Lieal stands there and stares at it, feeling as if a hole has opened up beneath her feet and then she falls to the floor--

(The sensation of a warm hand on her hair, chapped lips against hers--

\--a figure as if against the sun, Void dark but radiant--

\--love, _lover_ \--)

There is a heart wrenching noise in the room and, belatedly, she realizes that it is her crying. Staring at the wedding dress surely intended for her, feeling as if the world has swallowed her whole, Lieal cries out through her sobs:

"Who have I forgotten?"


End file.
